Tag: comedy

Tom Cruise of KweKwe – Zimbabwe 2012

(This is part of an ongoing series of stories about the first visit I ever had to Zimbabwe or Africa in general. All the stories are true and based on my own experiences. They are also part of my one-man theatre production, Coming to Zimbabwe which was published in Germany, and has toured the USA and parts of Africa.)

First days in Zimbabwe

After my day in Imire Game Preserve, this was the first day of my new job. (You can find the story Imire Safari Ranch – Zimbabwe 2012 in the monthly section menu) I woke up the next morning and met Gavin. We loaded into his incredible small car and we headed out toward the small city of Gweru located in the Midlands section of Zimbabwe. This drive should have taken about 3 hours but the engine was so small and tired in Gavin’s car, we were in for a 5 hour ride.

We headed out of Harare on the A5 Highway or Gweru-Harare Road. This was really the first time that I was going to see the real countryside of Zimbabwe. Of course on my journey to Imire, I had seen country. But that was in such a rush and I was so on edge from Kathy’s driving, that I did not pay much attention to the scenery.

Now because the slow nature of our drive through the mountains toward Gweru, I could very much see the lovely country, yet I could also see that field after field and farm after farm nothing was growing. There were no crops in the fields that I passed on this major road through the heartland of Zimbabwe.

Farmland sitting fallow

Whether is was the outcome of Mugabe’s land reforms or for some other reason, it was plain to see that this part of the economy was hurting. Zimbabwe during the Ian Smith years, during the civil war for independence, and even during Mugabe’s first years in power, was known as “the bread basket of Africa”. The farms were so successful and abundant and Zimbabwe grew so much food that it exported it surplus food stuffs to countries all around Africa. Now they had to import food items just to be able to eat.

As we drove south, we passed through the village of Chegutu and the small city of Kadoma. We drove through beautiful mountain areas, over rivers and across savannas where the sky seem to stretch on forever. After driving for a couple of hours, we stopped in Kwekwe to stretch our legs and get some coffee.

City Marker for Kwekwe

Kwekwe is a city of about 100,000 people located right in the center of the country. At one time, it was a very lovely little town, but it is very poor there now. Unemployment in the area is about 80% or more. The town has become very dusty and dirty, the gutters are filled with trash and there are 100’s of men standing around with no work and nothing really to do.  As we pulled into the town and went around the roundabout, I was wondering where we were going to stop. We passed the beautiful but very tiny Mosque on the right as we enter Kwekwe. About 3 blocks passed that on the same side of the road, we stopped in front of this seemingly brand new building made of chrome and glass. It was like an illusion in the middle of this rundown town. The place was buzzing as people came and went from the double glass doors.

Kwekwe main drag

As we walked inside, Gavin told me the place was called Ripperz and that is was a fairly new place. The place seemed to be a combination of a restaurant, bakery and food market. Gavin and I walked in and went over to a coffee bar. And to be honest, I was surprised at the thought of a coffee bar in a rundown city in the middle of a 3rd world country. As I was to learn my first world impressions of Zimbabwe were going to be radically altered in the next month in this surprising and lovely country.

Ripperz bakery and cafe

As I sat down at the bar, I realized that I was the only white in the place. For just a moment, I experienced a momentary disquieting feeling that I was truly alone in this country. I did not know one person in Zimbabwe or this part of Africa. Further, that I was truly a minority in this country. You can read tons of information about a place and hope you understand it on an intellectual level, but the feelings that you get on the ground in a place are what truly define your experience and attitudes. Not that I was in fear for my safety because of my race; on the contrary, everyone so far in Zim had been very friendly and helpful. Yet, at that moment, I realized how different I was from anyone in the room. I had only experienced that feeling once before while standing at a bar in a nightclub in Mazatlan, Mexico trying to get a drink, and not even the bartender would speak to me because I was the only Angelo there. Both of these moments were profound for me, and reminded me that I was “the stranger in a strange land.” That I had so much to learn about this country, her people and her culture, and that was on me to do. So many times as I have traveled in the world, I have found Americans who are visiting a place and act like it is still the United States. They forget that they are visiting a new place, yet they expect the people there to treat them like they are still in the US. As the visitor, you are the one that needs to adapt to the new place, because the new place is not going to adapt to you. And that has always been my guiding principle when traveling. As Mark Twain once said, “…traveling doesn’t lead to a new destination, but to a new way of seeing things.”

After ordering our coffee, one of the two white owners came from the back and walk over to us. He was from Canada and had settled in Kwekwe to work the farm that his family had owned there. They later had lost it to the Mugabe land reforms which consisted of the government taking legally owned land away from the professional white farmers and giving it to black citizens of the country. Many of whom did not know how to farm or did not want to work that hard or were not capable of running those large farming concerns, so the farms began to fail in record numbers and the food production bottomed out for Zimbabwe.

Zimababwe’s President Robert Mugabe chants Zanu PF slogans with supporters gathered at the Harare International Conference Centre in Harare, Wednesday May 3, 2000. Mugabe launched the Zanu PF’s election manifesto which bears the slogan “Land is the Economy and the Economy is Land”. (AP Photo/Christine Nesbitt)

Now please do not take this that I disapprove of the idea of the original people of a country that had been colonized by white Europeans getting their own country back. But to remove at gun point and in several cases by death at the hands of gangs of Mugabe thugs, farmers who had worked that land for at least 3 to 4 generations, who provided jobs and about one quarter of Zim’s GNP seems wrong on any scale. Plus the farmers did not do themselves any favors when they made the mistake of thinking that Mugabe was running a democracy. They provided funding to the rural party (MDC) in government elections against Mugabe’s ZANU-PF and thus provoked Mugabe to actions against them. This whole misadventure that resulted in poor food production, lost jobs, ruined communities and families, and in many cases death could have been done better and gotten the same results without the ruin and bloodshed. Mugabe took an ax to a situation that needed delicacy and the resulting decline in food production and lost economy is proof of its failure.

Marquee with my play, Coming to Zimbabwe, Harare.

We are soon joined by his partner, who was from Greece (I believe). In my play, the second owner is from Greece but to be honest I do not remember where he was from. The following conversation is what truly happened at the moment of introduction:

Gavin – (to the Greek owner) “This is James from Hollywood, CA.”

Owner – (to me) “You are from Hollywood?”

Me – “Yes, I am.”

Owner – “Do you know any famous people?”

Me – “Yes, I know some famous people.”

Owner – “Do you know Tom Cruise?”

Me – “No, I don’t know Tom Cruise.”

Owner – “You don’t know Tom Cruise?”

Me – “No I don’t. Never had the pleasure.”

Owner – “I love Tom Cruise. I have seen all of his movies. Risky Business, Top Gun, Rain Man…” (at this point the Greek owner continued to name several more Tom Cruise movies and talked about how much he liked the movies and Tom Cruise himself.)

Mr. Tom Cruise

I should also point out at during this entire time, the owner never asked why an American was sitting in his store, what I was doing or how I liked Zimbabwe. It was Tom Cruise 24/7 with this guy, or so it seemed. Gavin realized that the conversation was going south and asked for “take away” coffee for us, and it was provided. We left and had a good long laugh about Tom Cruise and the Greek owner.

Yet, two days later, as we returned toward Harare, we stopped again at Ripperz for coffee. As I walked through the front door, the Greek owner who was working the front counter greeted me with, “Hey, Tom Cruise.”

I would go through Kwekwe about 8 to 10 more times over the next 4 weeks as I traveled around with Gavin or Gary, the Irish consulate and his family as they took me around Zimbabwe to places like Great Zimbabwe, Victoria Falls, and Matopos National Park. I would often stop in Kwekwe as a mid-point for several of these journeys, and every time I would eat and shop at Ripperz. And every time I walked through the door, the Greek owner would greet me as “Hey, Tom Cruise.”

Reps Theatre, Harare. Where my play debuted 2012.

Now in my one man show, I make this part of the story a comedy high point of the show and enlarge the number of people who began to call me Tom Cruise including great numbers of people on the street. Yet in truth by my third visit, a couple of employees started to refer to me as Tom Cruise. I was also greeted one day as I walked down the main street in Kwekwe with Gary’s son to the local internet cafe by a perfect African stranger, someone that I had never seen before as… “Oh you are the Tom Cruise guy.”

So that is my 15 minutes of African fame being called “Tom Cruise” in a small city in the middle of Zimbabwe – Kwekwe. For a month, I was known as Tom Cruise of Kwekwe.

Point Loma and Cabrillo National Park – San Diego Part 3

So we were headed down for two more shows in San Diego for the SD International Fringe Festival on June 29th and July 1. So we had some extra time and decided to explore this beautiful little gem of a city, San Diego.

Again we chose to stay in the Gaslamp District of DTSD, and this time we found a very nice little hostel called Lucky D’s Hostel. Located on the fringe of the Gaslamp area at 615 8th Ave. between Market and G Streets, this hostel is also in a former hotel but unlike US Hostel just a few streets over this one was much larger and the facilities were much better. There was a large kitchen area, TV room, internet room, even a laundry and separate reading room area. We rented a private room with shared bathroom, and  the room included a small refrigerator, TV, AC and a king size bed. While sharing a bathroom with others can worry some, the price difference and short walking distance to our theatre made the place perfect for our needs.

We had July 30th off so we drove out to Point Loma which is a hilly peninsula that marks the northern boundary of San Diego harbor. Going to Point Loma is #14 out 435 things to do in San Diego (Tripadvisor). It is historically important as the landing place of the first European expedition to come ashore in present-day California. The peninsula has been described as “where California began”. Today, Point Loma houses two major military bases, a national cemetery, a national monument, and a university, in addition to residential and commercial areas.

Point Loma is a separate community part of San Diego. The term “Point Loma” is used to describe both the neighborhood and the peninsula. After driving through the residential part of Point Loma, the first area of note that you come to is Fort Rosecrans National Cemetery. The Cemetery is a federal military cemetery in the city of San Diego. Row upon row of white military headstones placed against the beautiful background of San Diego harbor is both a powerful and sad reminder of all the sacrifices that young men have made for the US in times of war.

HISTORY

Point Loma was discovered by Europeans on September 28, 1542 when Portuguese navigator Juan Rodríguez Cabrillo (João Rodrigues Cabrilho in Portuguese) departed from Mexico and led an expedition for the Spanish crown to explore the west coast of what is now the United States. Cabrillo described San Diego Bay as “a very good enclosed port”. This was the first landing by a European in present-day California, so that Point Loma has been described as “where California began”. (Wikipedia)

The indigenous population of the area were known as the Kumeyaay people who did not live on Point Loma because there was no pure water source but periodically would visit to harvest mussels, clams, abalone and lobsters. (Wikipedia)

More than 200 years were to pass before a permanent European settlement was established in San Diego in 1769. Mission San Diego itself was in the San Diego River valley, but its port was a bayside beach in Point Loma called La Playa (Spanish for beach). The historic La Playa Trail, the oldest European trail on the West Coast, led from the Mission and Presidio to La Playa, where ships anchored and unloaded their cargoes via small boats. Part of the route became present-day Rosecrans Street. In his book Two Years Before the Mast, Richard Henry Dana, Jr. describes how sailors in the 1830s camped on the beach at La Playa, accumulated cattle hides for export, and hunted for wood and jackrabbits in the hills of Point Loma.[9] The beach at La Playa continued to serve as San Diego’s “port” until the establishment of New Town (current downtown) in the 1870s. (Wikipedia)

The longtime association of San Diego with the U.S. military began in Point Loma. The southern portion of the Point Loma peninsula was set aside for military purposes as early as 1852. Over the next several decades the Army set up a series of coastal artillery batteries and named the area Fort Rosecrans. Significant U.S. Navy presence in San Diego began in 1901 with the establishment of the Navy Coaling Station in Point Loma.[12] During World War II the entire southern portion of the peninsula was closed to civilians and used for military purposes, including a battery of coast artillery. Following the war the area was consolidated into Naval Base Point Loma. Other portions of Fort Rosecrans became Fort Rosecrans National Cemetery and Cabrillo National Monument. (Wikipedia)

CABRILLO NATIONAL MONUMENT 

After you pass through the cemetery area, you pass many Navy base sites until you come to the gate for Cabrillo National Monument. After paying the fee of $10 per car, enter and have the choice to go to the visitors center and the Old Lighthouse Museum or the Tidal pool area. We chose the Visitors center first.

The statue of Cabrillo is at the southern tip of the Point Loma Peninsula. It commemorates the landing of Juan Rodríguez Cabrillo at San Diego Bay on September 28, 1542. The whole site was designated as California Historical Landmark #56 in 1932. As with all historical units of the National Park Service, Cabrillo was listed on the National Register of Historic Places on October 15, 1966. The park offers sweeping views of San Diego’s harbor and skyline, and on clear days, a wide expanse of the Pacific Ocean, Tijuana, and Mexico’s Coronado Islands are also visible.

The Old Point Loma Lighthouse is the highest point in the park and has been a San Diego icon since 1855. The lighthouse was closed in 1891, and a new one opened at a lower elevation, because fog and low clouds often obscured the light at its location 129 meters (422 feet) above sea level. The old lighthouse is now a museum, and visitors may enter it and view some of the living areas.

The area encompassed by the national monument includes various former military installations, such as coastal artillery batteries, built to protect the harbor of San Diego from enemy warships. Many of these installations can be seen while walking around the area. A former army building hosts an exhibit that tells the story of military history at Point Loma.

TIDEPOOLS

Next came the tide pools area. You don’t have to walk this so do not worry. There is a drop of several hundred feet from the Lighthouse area to the tide pools and there is a beautiful little two lane road with dramatic views of its own that leads down to the tide pool parking area.

The southern end of Cabrillo is one of the best-protected and easily accessible rocky intertidal areas in southern California. The word “intertidal” refers to the unique ecosystem that lies between the high and low tides along the shore. Tide pools are depressions where water is trapped during low tides, forming small pools that provide habitat for numerous plants, invertebrates, and fish. These depressions are formed over geologic time through a combination of biological, physical, and chemical processes.

Cabrillo’s tide pools are an extremely popular destination for tourists, and it is estimated that more than 215,000 people visit the tide pools annually. Compared to sandy beaches, the diversity of life in the rocky intertidal is impressive. People go to the beach to swim, sunbathe, or surf, but they come to the tide pools to explore, experience, and learn. (Wikipedia)

Truly a very lovely day to Point Loma and Cabrillo National Monument. Well worth your time to see and experience the history of San Diego.

SD Fringe and San Diego Waterfront – San Diego, California

So I returned to San Diego for two more shows of Mi Casa Su Casa as part of the 5th Annual San Diego Fringe Festival with my partner and co-author, Silvie Jacobsen. This time we drove down instead, and came down a night early because I had a 2:30 PM show the next day, June 25th.

We chose the Quality Inn Downtown on 4th Street about 8 blocks from the theatre. The place while not horrible was pretty sketchy. The rooms were extremely tiny. The kitchenette was in the closet. The bathroom sink doubled as the kitchen sink with a garbage disposal in it. We found a bug in the bed the first night. Overall, the experience for the two nights there was disappointing.

The hotel did provide a very, very basic breakfast for $10 in the morning, and I passed on that for my own coffee in the room. We soon walked down to theatre for the 2:30 PM show. The Geoffrey Off Broadway theatre was more than half full so the energy was very high. While still struggling with the script a little, I had a wonderful show and received many great compliments on the material.

the Playwrights backstage after the successful 2nd show!

The theatre is located on 1st and Broadway which is very simple walking distance to San Diego Seaport, the Maritime Museum and the USS Midway Museum on the San Diego Harbor shoreline.

The Kiss

Starting at the Seaport, we walked North along the shoreline. The city has really developed this part of the harbor into a very friendly tourist area with walkways, small parks, and the museums and restaurants. First, you come upon the 25 foot statue of the “Kissing Statue” based on the famous Life Magazine photo of a sailor kissing a random girl in New York City in 1945 celebrating the end of World War II. The statue is officially called “Unconditional Surrender” and is located right next to the USS Midway Museum.

USS Midway Museum

The USS Midway Museum is a maritime museum located in downtown San Diego, California at Navy Pier. The museum consists of the aircraft carrier Midway (CV-41). The ship houses an extensive collection of aircraft, many of which were built in Southern California.[1][2]   The USS Midway was America’s longest-serving aircraft carrier of the 20th century, from 1945 to 1992 with approximately 200,000 sailors served aboard the carrier during that time. USS Midway opened as a museum on 7 June 2004. By 2012 annual visitation exceeded 1 million visitors and as of 2015 Midway is the most popular naval warship museum in the United States.[3] The Museum information for tickets and times and events is located here, www.midway.org/hours-tickets. (Wikipedia)

Rigging of the Star of India

Further up, the boardwalk is the Maritime Museum of San Diego which preserves one of the largest collections of historic sea vessels in the United States. Located on the San Diego Bay, the centerpiece of the museum’s collection is the Star of India, an 1863 iron bark. The museum maintains the MacMullen Library and Research Archives aboard the 1898 ferryboat Berkeley.  Other boats in the collection include a replica of the America, the first ship to win the America’s Cup Yacht race, the HMS Surprise, a full size operating Royal Navy frigate from 1800’s that has also appeared in the Pirates of the Caribbean series and the Master and Commander movie. The collection also includes two submarines: one US and one Russian, plus others. You can purchase tickets for the Museum at https://sdmaritime.org/tickets/. You can find times and prices and Museum activities there.

HMS Surprise

A really beautiful warm night stroll along the harbor and looking at tall ships and aircraft carriers.

The 3rd show the next day was a great success and back to LA. We return for 2 more shows on June 29th and July 1 plus a visit to Point Loma and the Cabrillo National Park.

Mi Casa Su Casa – San Diego International Fringe Festival

As some of my full time readers will know, I am also a performer/teacher/director who has toured the world doing shows and workshops. I have worked in South-eastern Africa, Europe, the Middle East and the US.

I am currently doing a one-man show at the San Diego Fringe Festival called Mi Casa Su Casa or How to Get 175 Roommates (The AirBnb Show). The show is about my other job which is owning and operating the Hacienda Guest House in Los Angeles, and being an AirBnB host for the past 6 years. All the wonderful, strange and downright weird things that happen when you open your home to perfect strangers from around the world.

The opportunity to combine my show and my travel writing was too good to pass up- so here goes.

My show was to open at the SD Fringe on June 22 at 6 PM in the Geoffrey Off Broadway Theatre, 923 1st Avenue (which really just a half block from Broadway) in the Gas Lamp district. Instead of enduring that hell that is the 5 Freeway which can take anywhere from 2 to 6 hours one way from LA to SD depending on the traffic, I chose Amtrak instead. The train, the Surfrider, is a lovely stress-free way to get to San Diego in about 3 hours with about half the train ride along the coast with great views for about $40 one-way.

The end of the line in downtown SD at the Santa Fe Station was literally an easy 5 block walk to the theatre on First Street, so I got there in plenty of time for the technical rehearsal at 12:30 PM. After tech rehearsal, I went over the the hostel that I had rented a bed for the night, the USA Hostels San Diego – Downtown on Fifth Steet. Located in a historic 1880s building in the Gaslamp district, the hostel serves a daily free breakfast and offers shared accommodations with free Wi-Fi. The hostel offers exclusively-designed privacy pods with a light, a shelf, an outlet and screening from roommates. All shared guest rooms have free lockers (guests need to provide their own lock). The daily free breakfast includes all-you-can-make pancakes, baked goods, toast, oatmeal, fresh fruit, juice, coffee and tea. Guests can cook their own meals in the shared kitchen.

This all sounds very lovely until you arrive. The hostel is tiny with no lobby, tiny kitchen and small lounge area. If reception desk is really busy, the lobby space gets really crowded and it is impossible to get to the kitchen or lounge area. The place is reasonably clean but the rooms are very small and people seemed packed in tight. I do not recommend this hostel if you are looking for space or comfort. However, the location cannot be beat right in the heart of the Gaslamp district.

I returned to the theatre for my 6 PM curtain. While very nervous as this is an entirely new play, the audience was half full and very receptive as I tried to work out some of the kinks in the script. For 45 minutes, I regaled the audience with tales of random people who have ventured into my front door over the past 12 years. I only got lost in the new script once so I was overall pleased with the first show. Special shout out to Kevin, the CEO of SD Fringe, and my stage manager, Scott for their amazing work and dedication to theatre and live artists.

The San Diego Fringe is part of the Canadian Fringe Festival circuit. Each festival houses about 100 shows over a 2 week period and provides the artists with venue, technical and programming support. Unlike an open fringe festival like the Hollywood Fringe Festival which the artist pays FOR everything, and the Hollywood Fringe festival in 2017 had 375 shows in a 3 week period. It is just too many shows and too much competition for any one show to get any traction for an audience. San Diego Fringe is much more calm, professional, and easy to attract an audience for.

Next morning, I took the Surfrider back to Los Angeles the next morning. Arrived at Union Station in DT  Los Angeles about 4 PM and took an Uber home. Quick but really nice trip.

I have two more shows in San Diego on June 25 and 26. More about those next time.