Tag: airlines

The TSA Blues – Opinion

So recently, I went to get my TSA Pre-Check eligibility in Los Angeles. I paid $85 for a 5 year membership to be able to bypass the long security lines at airports in the US. The ability to not have to pull my computer out, have to take my shoes off, or have a surly TSA agent stick their hand in my private areas. That sounded like a really good deal to me if for no other reason than just in terms of sheer time saved.

So I was eager to check out how this would work on my first international flight since receiving my TSA Pre-Check approval. I have been sometimes selected for this program randomly, but not officially. I had already booked a flight to Copenhagen after I had applied for the program (which takes about 3 to 4 weeks) so when I got my KTN # (Known Traveler Number) I called my carrier, Norwegian Airlines to give them my number. I was kindly told in a sing-song Scandinavian voice that Norwegian did not take part in the program so I could not use my KTN for this flight.

OK, I had to stand in line like everyone else again. Ok, I could that. I had done that before – many times if you have read my blog before. However, what follows are the worst two experiences that I or my family have ever had at the hands of the TSA.

I am all for border protection and legal immigration. I am all for the rule of law and applying it equally. I am not however, for a bunch of foul-mouth, self-entitled, rude, self-important jerk-offs yelling at US citizens, legal Green Card holders, and proper visitors to the US with proper visas, especially when those being yelled at are myself and my wife. The TSA feels that they are answerable to no one and that should change ASAP.

My wife had gone to Europe to see her family for 3 weeks, and I was joining her for the last 10 days in Hamburg, Germany. We were going to return together on a Norwegian Airline flight from Copenhagen and land in Los Angeles.

I should explain here that my wife is from Denmark. She has lived here for 7 years, and we have been married going on 5 years. Her permanent green card application has taken forever. In older days, the process took about 2 years from applying to receiving your permanent residence card that would be good for up to 10 years before you have to reapply. During that two-year period, the applicant was granted a temporary Green Card which allowed them to stay, and exit or enter the USA. Now because of Obama, Trump, 9/11 and other factors, this process can take up to 4 years and still not be resolved. The people going through this process are not illegal, but that temporary card can be taking away at anytime. And that can and does create a lot of anguish and anxiety for the individuals and their families.

Applying for the card is also an expensive choice costing with legal fees more than 3000 dollars with no guarantee that you will be allowed to stay. You can choose to do this process yourself to save some money, but it will still cost upwards of 1500 dollars. Once you are granted temporary status, it can be taken away at a moment’s notice and you are put on a plane at once and away you go back to your home country, even if you are married to a US citizen. If you are here on a visa of any nature and it runs out and you do not return to your home country, the only other choice you have other than marriage is to go underground. That is what many immigrants used to do, but if you are ever caught you are banned from entering the USA in many cases, forever. So the idea that getting a permanent green card is easy or simple, or that you can fake it by getting married is simply not true. It is a long, hard process that is expensive and is very stressful on a person or family.

Now Los Angeles is one of the busiest entry points into the USA. A TSA customs employee told me that at any one time there are 3000 people standing in line at customs waiting to be processed, and more than that are processed through the security lines. That is every working hour of the day – 7 days a week. That is a lot of people, stress and constant screening to process. It can put an amazing strain on people and a system. Yet, that is no excuse for bad and rude behavior to citizens and visitors alike just because your job is stressful. And TSA is making no excuses for its incredibly awful service and terrible treatment of people.

So I get to the airport and get my e-ticket for my flight to Denmark. I stand in the 45 minute line to get into the security line. One of my complaints is that no airport is the same in terms of how they handle this procedure. Every single one of them does it different, and at LAX which has 7 terminals – they do it all different as well. So there is no standard, no set way. Different places want you do to different things. And with the increase of machines helping with moving the bags and shoes, and new x-ray machine the process is constantly changing. Plus at LAX because of the sheer number of people, the guards scream instructions at you all the time. Someone should train them to understand that humans automatically turn off paying attention when someone screams at them continuously. We just tune out.

This day the message being screamed at us was”…nothing in your pockets at all. No passport, wallet, paper – nothing. Put everything in the container.” I managed to do that, however I always keep my boarding pass with me, so I stuck it in my back pocket. I go through the x-ray machine, and I am immediately pulled out of line and surrounded by two TSA guards.

They showed me the x-ray image where there is something in my back pocket. I pull out my boarding pass. A single piece of paper. But because of this I am now going to experience a full body search instead of a wand. I asked why and they said that it was a new policy. They were professional about it – telling me what they were going to touch and I said ok – meanwhile, my computer, passport, wallet, medicine, shoes were waiting at the end of the collection point where anyone could have taken them.

They checked my waistband, my pockets in the back and felt up my butt. “Now turn around!” I asked why because the x-ray clearly showed that there was nothing in the front part of my body. “Procedure” was the answer has he felt up my legs, grabbed my privates very hard and checked my front pockets. Than I was told to take off my socks? What were they going to find in two sport socks? At this point, I began to complain loudly about the overkill. I have a KTN number, it was a piece of paper, nothing in my socks. The sock check was over so I grabbed them and started away. I was shoved back into place by a large female officer, and when I pointed out that my passport was out in the open for almost 10 minutes now – she literally screamed in my face, “…we have cameras all over the place. No one is going to steal your lousy passport.” This is the same TSA that has failed every major test of their system since testing began. Sure they were going to notice one guy’s passport being pick up at the end of the conveyor belt.

Than they checked my hands of whatever chemicals that they check for – Pass. Than I was dismissively told to “move along.” That did it. His and his partner’s entire attitude was offensive and over the top. I told the officer that he was rude and this entire procedure was a pure power play. That the full body check was entirely unnecessary because of a single piece of paper that they could clearly see in the image screen. He demanded to know if I want to speak to a supervisor. I told him what was the point – 10 minutes had already been wasted, and I would simply be put in another room to file my complaint and more time would be wasted. But I retold them that they were very rude. As I walked away the female officer screamed again, “Did I want to speak to a supervisor?”

As I collected my items that had sat on the conveyor belt for 15 minutes almost and started to check if everything was there, I realized I was extremely upset. I have heard about rude or over the top behavior by TSA agents, but had never experienced myself in all the trips I have taken. I felt like I had been assaulted almost.  A man standing next to me who must have seen part of the exchange stated to me that he had a Pre-Check number and he got pulled out every time. His comment was he did not know why he had gotten the KTN# because it was basically useless. I wondered to myself if the same fate would happen for me now.

Then the return –

So the brief history of my wife. She is a Danish citizen and while waiting for her permanent Green Card to come, her Danish passport expired. So she sent off for another from Denmark which took about 6 weeks, and in the meantime she got an extension placed in her old passport by the local immigration office. We are lucky that we live in LA, so there is a local one. Yet, if during that time a family member or emergency happened in her home country, she could not travel at all. No airline would accept her and no country would receive her until she had proper travel documents.

Plus because the process takes so long now, her temporary green card had expired. But instead of giving her a new card, the US made her travel with an expired temporary green card and a visa extension in her expired Danish passport. Her Danish passport is in her maiden name so each time she travels anywhere, she carries two passports (one old with the extension visa and the new passport), her marriage license with her married name, and her expired Green Card also in her married name.

Now just before her trip, she got notice that her permanent Green Card was approved she was here in the country permanently – but they would send the card in about 3 to 4 weeks. She would receive the card after her return to the country.  So for this trip she carried the 2 passports, the expired Green card, her marriage license and the letter that said she had the permanent card with the ID# on it.

She had done this trip to Denmark about 4 time now, plus trips with me to Cuba, Mexico (twice) and Canada. She is always questioned but not for long and customs is relatively easy.

Recently, her fingerprints ended up in the system, so now she is pulled out of line every time and taken to a sealed TSA room known as “secondary check”. Here she is told to sit for up to an hour while they check her through the computer system. This is always on a first come, first serve basis. There is no allowance for green card holders and people already with the proper visas. The secondary check is for anyone that may appear on the screen of the customs agent at the first check-in. If they see anything that flags you, you are escorted by an armed officer to the secondary check room for the reason they were flagged.

This is not the little room that they show in all the movies with two-way mirrors and agents staring at you trying to figure out which country you are a spy for. This is a large room where everyone is treated like cattle. No one but the officer and the person pulled out of line can go inside. There is no cell phone communication allowed inside. None whatsoever. There is no time limit as to all long they can keep you, they will answer no questions about the person inside from anyone including family. They handle many languages and cultures and constantly have to deal with people who are confused, scared or literally do not speak English. So it is hard on the personnel and the person pulled out of line and can created some very stressful and tense situations. Yet again that does not excuse really rude behavior from anyone or agency.

My wife was in this room for 3 hours (a visit that has always only taken an hour), while I waited outside after a 12 hour flight and 2 hour check in that the Copenhagen airport. I was not allowed to know what was happening with her, and when I asked I was told in no uncertain terms to sit down and be quiet. So I sat in baggage claim for three hours with her bags and no idea if or when she would get out. She did manage to secretly text me a couple of times, but it was just to let me know she was still ok.

While there she witnessed TSA officers threatening legal immigrants with deportation if they did not shut up. Pulling cell phones out of confused foreigners’ hands who did not speak English and screaming at them. Not letting mothers talk to their children. Not letting relatives speak to the people in the room. There were chairs for about 12 people and there were more than 50 people in the room, so people had to sit on the floor. Why does this process need to be so aggressive and ugly?  What is the point of this kind of behavior by professional airport and customs officials?

Now again let me state that I want border protection. I want to feel safe when I fly, but I don’t want officials of my country screaming at me and mine, or legal visitors and residents because they are over worked. There is no excuse for it. I wish someone in Washington would do something about this, but in the current political climate that is not going to happen, and this problem of rude, overworked, over-entitled TSA officers and personnel is only going to get worse.

Temptation Resort Cancun – Review – Cancun, Mexico

PLAYGROUND FOR ADULTS!

It was a coldish December (for Los Angeles) and I had just received news that my teaching contract was not going to be renewed for the next semester. I had also just been hired to be the Artistic Director of a theatre company in Los Angeles. Changes were in the air and I needed to get away some place where I did not have to think about anything except where the next meal or drink was coming from.

I made a list of what I wanted from this get-away. Hot (or warmish), chance at a tan, inclusive of all meals and drinks, chance to meet people, and adults only (meaning no kids in the pool). I started looking at any place that kind of met that list, but it had to be inclusive – I did not want to leave the property once I got there UNLESS I wanted too.

Hawaii does not do inclusive. They have deals that look like that – but they are really different merchants that have been packaged by travel agents to look like that they are all together. Asia too far to fly. I had just completed an around the world trip 3 months before and I did not want to sit on another plane for 12 hours to get anywhere. Central America seemed pretty cool, but Costa Rica deals for that time of year were pretty high and Belize while interesting, I had to travel for a couple of hours outside the capitol to get to anywhere nice. I just wanted to get in a taxi and be there.

I know I sound like the whinny type of tourist – but sometimes you do not want an adventure, you want to rest and relax and not worry about catching that bus or climbing 1000 stairs to see an awesome landmark or view. I want to hang by a pool and watch the world walk by.

So, I turned to the Caribbean, and began to look at lists of best inclusive spots in the islands. Many came up – some really nice and expensive, some allowed the whole family, some for couples only, some like Hedonism II for adults only for adult activities (you understand that right?). I was flying solo and did not want to end up the third wheel to an entire hotel, or deal with sullen teenagers who could not get a strong wifi single in Haiti or Cuba. I was on a budget and could not afford places that were 700 per night or even 300 per night. Cheap, nice, inclusive and easy to get too.

An odd thing caught my eye while I was researching places, and I admit I was a little shocked at first. I am a single adult male who has a strong appreciation for the other gender of our species, yet I was really surprised to see the ads for inclusive resorts in the Dominican Republic where hookers were part of the price. Prostitution is legal in the DR, and there are resorts there (not all) that cater to men of all ages who are looking to spend their time having as much sex as their wallet could afford – the sex is included with the meals and drinks. Very convenient. And the resorts have reviews that talk about the food, drinks, girls, and the premises of the resort. Upscale, low scale. I am not a prude by any stretch – topless or nude beaches or resorts for swinger couples – all fine. Yet, a vacation based on the idea of paid impersonal sex just seemed very slimy and rather pathetic to me.

After a lot of comparing of prices, flights, travel time to the actual resort while on the ground, what the term inclusive meant for that resort, reviews about food, entertainment, cleanliness and staff response, I had it down to three places. The final challenge was made by whether if you were a solo at an adult only resort was the resort solo friendly. And the resort I choose passed all those tests with great reviews and an awesome price.

Temptation Resort Cancun was the place that I choose for my Christmas, solo, inclusive resort getaway. And here is my honest review.

I flew into Cancun on a warm, clear day of about 84 F. I cleared customs and was meet at the entrance by my shuttle company – USA Transfers – which I found online when looking for shuttles to the hotel. Great reviews and a very good price. I paid 50 US up front to be taken there and a promise of being picked up to go home at a pre-arranged time. You book with them online giving them your arrival and departure times. After you are picked up at the airport, you pay the first driver in cash when you arrive at the hotel on the first ride and that pays for both rides. You have already exchanged emails when you made the reservation and that is how they will confirm with you the pickup time. Everything with them was smooth as glass. Both to the hotel and during the pickup time back to the airport, things were on time, no extra charges, the vehicle was new and clean, driver spoke excellent English and tolerated my very bad Spanish, beer-soda-water was available complementary, and the driving was very safe. I cannot recommend USA Transfers highly enough. And as they stated, they confirmed everything by email a couple of days in advance. There can be extra charges for changing times or adding destinations.

I arrived at Temptation and from the outside, while it is a big hotel featuring 7 floors and 428 rooms and suites – there is nothing to prepare you for what is inside.  You walk up the wide front stairs and pass thru large glass doors into a huge reception/lobby area. A huge marble hall with floor to ceiling windows at one end that look out on Cancun Harbor with reception is on your right, the concierge on your left and in front of you on a raised dais is a huge bar placed in front of the windows. Through the windows you can see that you entered the second floor of the hotel, because beyond the indoor bar and glass windows is the main party area of the hotel. At night this area becomes “Bash” the hotel’s nonstop party with a bar stretching at least 300 feet in length on one side and on the other is a long buffet with chefs who will also cook you specialty items. Featuring a raised dance/presentation area where the nightly entertainment performs, the patio looks out on the resort’s “Sexy Pool” area with a swim up bar, DJ, and optional topless swimming that goes until the sun goes down.

Temptation advertises itself as “the Playground for Adults”, and it is that with the 21 and above age limit. The hotel features 7 restaurants, 5 bars, 2 pool areas and beach access (also topless). For the high rollers, who are members of the resort (you can buy a membership to the resort which opens certain special areas and services) there is a private roof top pool and bar area on the seventh floor of the hotel.

I was first booked into a room that faced onto the “Bash” area that was very modern and clean. The bed was very comfortable, and each room as a private balcony. The night-time party started about 8 PM and went until 1:45 AM in the morning. With the loud boom music and lights and DJ and dancers, this basically becomes a huge outdoor dance club. The noise level was a little too much for me, so I asked to move; and they gave me an equally nice room on the other side of the hotel that was very private and quiet.

The decor of the hotel is bright colors and smooth textures with a lot of erotic abstract art pieces around. Having a cocktail on your own private balcony with a warm Caribbean breeze blowing is not a bad way to watch a breathtaking sunset.

The food at some inclusive resorts borders on uneatable, but at Temptation the food for the most part was excellent. There is one huge buffet area that faces onto the pool where breakfast and lunch are served. Take as much as you want and bring a drink from one of the bars, or the waiter staff will get whatever you want. The other restaurants that open only at night offer about 15 different cuisines. I ate in all the featured restaurants and the food was very good. And all the bars serve top of the line brands.

There also all kinds of beach activities which are free, like small catamarans, paddle boards, and kayaks. The hotel also tries to create all kinds of ways for guests to interact with each other. Poolside contests, volleyball, and yoga classes are just a few. The staff is very friendly and tries very hard to please. I had some trouble with hot water in my second room, but they jumped on it right away. It took a day to fix, but I felt the effort was real so I dealt with the cold water for a day. Besides it was 85 outside, so not that cold.

Ultimately, the resort met all my needs and was above par. I wanted a quiet (relatively) vacation with sun, fun, drink, food and an adult only atmosphere and I got it. And for a very fair price. The topless optional and adult outlook on clothing and behavior were nice but not the reason that I was there. As solo, I was concerned that it would be all couples, but there were plenty of solos there as well. If you want to find someone to talk to or meet there are plenty of opportunities. I recommend the resort if you are open-minded and willing to try something a little different. But this is not for family, this is a resort that focuses on couples and the sensual.

Seven Final Thoughts on Iceland

  1. It is expensive! Remember it is expensive. As a young hostel guest I heard say, “Is nothing in this county cheap?” The answer of course is no. Not sure but by vote of every one in my hostel, Reykjavik seemed the most expensive city in Europe to them. More than Stockholm or London or Oslo. Buyer beware because you are going to spend some dough. Icelandic Kroner is about 106 to a US Dollar. So if you divide everything by 100 you will get a pretty accurate price.

Example – 1500 ISK for a beer (very usual) is in reality to a US citizen – 15 US Dollars almost. That is an expensive beer.

It is cheap to get to Iceland because the government heavily subsidizes the airlines to Reykjavik, but once they have you – look out. They are after the tourist dollar to correct the horrible financial crash that they went through in 2008 and 09 and are still feeling. So there are no deals in Reykjavik.

  1. It is wet! Bring rain gear, and I mean rain slickers, rain pants, boots. You will not need it all the time, but there are days and places that you are going to need it big time and you will not know when. Also all the weather clothes in Reykjavik for this type of weather – (lets say it together) are EXPENSIVE!

On the day that I went to Black Sand Beach outside of Vik, and the waterfall that you can walk behind – I was drenched to the bone. I had a rain poncho but with the strong wind that day, it made no difference. I wanted a rain suit or at least water proof pants.

3. It is beautiful. Amazingly so. A new vista, a new waterfall, a new cove, a new glacier, and new volcano just around every corner. Get out of Reykjavik. By car, by bus or tour bus, by boat, just get out and see this amazing place.

4. Rent a car if you can. The tour buses are great tours make no mistake – but they are on a time table. Slow down and enjoy this beautiful island. The Golden Circle tour is 8 hours and 69 dollars and while the day was great, most of it was on the bus. The Southern Coast tour was wet, wild and fun, but we were gone of 11 hours and most was riding from point A to point B. The cost for both trips was 170 US over two days and 17 hours of riding and getting out and running around because we usually had about 45 minutes to see everything. The day I rented a car with Canadian lawyer, Andrew Guerra the car cost us about 140 US with gas and we saw a lot of things that were not on a tour, but also things that were. Cost wise, it is better to share with someone if you can. Even a stranger that you meet at your hotel or hostel. Everyone wants to see the same things, and this way is cheaper and you move at your own pace.

5. No need to do the Blue Lagoon. It is a thermal with blue water for about 120 US. Pretty and it has a bar! A 30 minute bus ride out of town.

For a 20 minute walk through lovely Reykjavik and 1200 Kroner (12 dollars US), I had a great afternoon at one of the two local bathing houses/thermal pools in Reykjavik itself. Cheaper, not touristy, locals all around and you can meet some very interesting people.

Word to the wise, Reykjaviks are not hung up by nudity. Not in public so much, but in the locker rooms. In the pool areas, everyone has proper bathing suits on, but in the locker room flesh everywhere. Only speaking for the male side here, but young boys, old men, all colors, every male I saw walking around in the locker not covering with a towel at all. For people from some cultures, it can be a little shocking at first. But since they already have what you have and have seen their own, they do not care about yours. So relax and enjoy yourself. The heated water by volcano is wonderful.

6. If you came to Reykjavik to party and drink. Please be responsible. But save some money and get a local app called “Appyhour”. It is an app that you can load on your phone that tells you when every happy hour in every bar in Reykjavik is. Since they all have different or rolling happy hours, some starting as early as 2 PM, you and your friends can move from bar to bar and save money. Sometimes a lot. Remember a beer at regular price is 12 to 15 dollars, this app will let you drink for about 7 to 8 dollars per beer. Depending on your intake that could be a lot of money.

It is very easy to get around in the party area of Reykjavik. You walk everywhere. Cabs are EXPENSIVE. They are not many police, but the bouncers at these bars do not take any crap. They are nice and professional, the ones I saw and talked too. But if you bring trouble, you are gone and in a not so gentle hurry. So behave!

  1. Please do not throw your trash around. Seriously. Every Icelander I spoke with told me how upset at how their country is filling up with trash at all the natural sites. They take amazing pride in the country and treat it as a sacred place. Tourists do not. Especially the Americans and Chinese seem to be the worst to them. So pick up after yourself, throw your stuff away – plenty of garbage cans everywhere and do not treat Iceland like your trash can please.

Enjoy!

Asking for Directions Georgia Style – Georgia

I am returning to Georgia again. This is an annual pilgrimage to see family and friends and to get in touch with my roots. I enjoy traveling in the South. It seems like a slower pace of life, people tend to really listen and be interested in what you say, and there is a genuine concern about you as a person. That is not always true, but that is how is seems. Returning to my home region also reminds me why I no longer live there. I will not mention the reasons but it helps put my current life in perspective. Yet, to be honest, the reasons (even in the time of Trump) to not be there are less and less, and the pull to be with my family members on a more constant basis is strong. Very strong.

I took the red-eye from LA to Atlanta on American Airlines. Good basic flight in 3 hours and forty-five minutes. Got charged $25 to check one bag (? Really?), then asked if I wanted to move seats to the exit row that would another $45 or to get on board first for another $32. Traveling on US based airline is like paying to be treated like crap. They say that they need to do this to be competitive. And I know that national airlines in parts of the world are under written by their individual governments sometimes, but could US based airlines just find a nicer and better way to treat us – the paying customer – like we were not sardines in a can?

Landed at Hartsfield-Jackson in Atlanta which I am always amazed at how busy and how well managed it is. I had decided to rent a car from Sixt, but instead of paying the extra 10% surcharge at the airport, I opted to ride the subway into mid-town and get the car at a mid-town location for about $50 cheaper. I have ridden the MARTA trains (Atlanta’s train and bus system) only a couple of time in Atlanta, but again I am impressed about how efficient it is. I live in Los Angeles and even though we are considered the second or third largest city in the USA, we are just starting to build our transportation infrastructure. There is not even a train that runs to the airport, and not to have a train that goes to the airport is ridiculous. There are 3rd world countries in Africa and South America that manage that feat, but not LA.

I came out for the subway at the North Ave station in Mid-town Atlanta and only had to walk a couple of blocks to find the rental agency. However, I had left my phone in my car in LA, so I was depending on the kindness of strangers for correct GPS directions. The first gentleman sent me 4 blocks in the wrong direction but I got turned around and headed correctly. I located the SIXT mid-town office in the bowels of the Georgian Terrace Hotel although a sign would be nice. There is no indication anywhere on the building or inside the building to let you know that a car rental office even exists here.

My next task was to locate a T-Mobil phone company office to get a temporary phone. I located one near I-85 in Union City as I head south out of Atlanta to my first stop in Bainbridge, GA., to see my old friend for college, Pamela. When I found the office, it was 8:45 AM and the office did not open until 10 AM. There was someone in the store, but they would not let me buy a phone until the store officially opened. While I was standing in the parking lot trying to figure out what to do for the next hour, the manager Michael Smith invited me in and got me taken care of in about 15 minutes. I am very thankful to him for his great and very kind service to me in a time of great need.

Now Bainbridge is in the south-west corner of Georgia just above Tallahassee, FL. The best and most direct way to Bainbridge is take I-85 south toward Birmingham, then I-185 to Columbus, GA., and then after that to take Georgia  27 and 520 further south after Columbus. Highways 520 and 27 run together for about 50 miles and then they split, and you should follow 27 at that point. The whole journey should take about four and half hours. I still had not taken the time to make sure my GPS was working correctly plus I was driving in the middle of a torrential late-Spring rain storm where I could not see 5 feet in front of me sometimes. Long and short of it, I missed the turnoff for GA 27 and continued along 520.

When I realized that I was off course, I stopped at a rather large convenience store dressed up to look like a back-country store with fake barrels everywhere, and rocking chairs placed along the long veranda on the front of the store. After buying some supplies for the road, I asked the woman behind the counter how to find a connecting road to 27. She pointed to an old farmer type guy on the veranda, and said to ask him because he knew all the roads in the area. I grew up in this part of the world so to see a man wearing overalls, chewing tobacco, and standing around to wait for the rain to stop in the middle of the day is very normal to me. However, I was not quite ready for the dramatic effect that this particular encounter would involve.

What follows is the exact conversation (with spitting included).

Me – “Excuse me, sir. The lady inside said that you might help me get back over to 27. I am head to Bainbridge and missed the turnoff a’ways back. I saw Highway 45 cuts across to there. Can you tell me how far to the turnoff for 45?”

Him – (Spits)“You going to Bainbridge?” (Spits).

I should also explain at this point to anyone not familiar with the practice of spitting tobacco that you usually carry a cup with you to spit into at least while in public places. Not this gentleman. Right on the sidewalk in large brown spatters of brown juice.

Me – “Yes sir.”

Him – (Spits) “You don’t want to go that way.” (He spits and points towards the way I had come) “You want to go back up there to 41 and turn right.” (Spits)

Me – “Well, 27 is in that direction.” (Pointing west which is the opposite direction.)

Him –  (Spits) “Oh that 27. (Spits again) Then you want to turn left. (Spits again) If you go down to 45 that will take you more out of the way. So go back to 41. (Spits) You follow that for six, seven, maybe eight miles and you will come to this sharp curve to the left, real sharp. (Spits) In the middle of the curve, you will find a road to the right. Take that road. Chain Gang Road. Led you right to 27. (Spits)

Me – “Back to 41, turn left, look for the sharp curve to the left and take the road to the right. That correct?”

Him – (Spits) “Yep. Go seven, maybe eight. I think it is seven miles, but it could be eight. And take that curve. (Spits) It is really sharp to the left, I mean real sharp and you will see the road off to the right. Don’t miss that one cause it goes right to 27.” (Spits)

Me – “Well, thank you sir. I appreciate it.” I start to walk to the car, but the rain in unrelenting.

Him – (Spits) “Yeah you want to take that 41.” He spits again and the entire conversation repeats again. He would repeat the same information while spitting two more whole times as I tried to avoid the tobacco juice. Finally I could escape to the car and I made a beeline. As I sat in the car with no good option, I was unsure of what to do. I still did not know where 45 crossed my highway or I could follow the back-wood directions of my new friend.

I opted for the back-wood direction. Nothing was as he claimed, but I am blessed with a decent sense of direction, and I knew where south and west were so eventually I found highway 27 and followed it to Bainbridge in time for lunch.

 

 

Ethiopia and Harare – Zimbabwe 2012

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Travel Day

Day 1

I am flying high over the Atlantic on Ethiopian Airlines. Talk about luxury. Certainly no American airline offers this kind of service any more. Blankets and pillows for everyone. Free meal and free booze and basically free everything. The people are incredibly friendly. They ask what I am doing and when I tell them, they all give me advice on how to survive in Zim and Africa in general. People are friendly everywhere if you take the time with them, and are courteous yourself. But this was really very pleasant.

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My stop-over in Washington was completely uneventful. I landed at 1:45 AM, and I had booked a hotel room. I am just too old to try to sleep in a row of chairs in the airport. It was worth it, because I was exhausted after a day of taking care of last-minute details and the stress that I have every time I fly. Plus is was really nice to spend one last night in what I perceive as American style luxury. TV, ESPN, ac, coffee in the room and a very large hot shower.

I am currently watching the cutest little Ethiopian boy run up and down the aisles. Big smile on his face as he laughingly runs back and forth. How can you not smile at that? The pure joy of just being able to run around with no cares.

Even with the help of alcohol and a few pills it is very hard for me to sleep on a plane. Although for one stretch I did manage to until a beautiful air hostess woke me up because I was drooling. How romantic and sexy is that image?

I am about halfway to Addis Abeba, and I still have 9 more hours after I land there. I will arrive in Harare around 12 PM on Thursday. This jet lag is going to be awful.

(For spelling junkies – Addis Ababa can be spelled two ways. I choose to use the spelling used by the official Ethiopian Mapping Authority Addis Abeba.)

I will try to send this out when I get to Addis Abeba as there is no internet on my planes. I marvel at people who can do all their work from the skies, but unfortunately I am not booked on one of those flights.

My two seat mates are two Ethiopian men who are returning home after long times away. One is a college professor in computer science in North Carolina, and the other is a man who has not been home for over 15 years who lives in Seattle and has three kids. They have been very kind answering all my stupid questions about Ethiopia and trying to teach me useful words.

Listening to Miles Davis at the moment – on the airline sound system – he is so cool, that he makes me feel cool just listening to him.

“Wandering re-establishes the original harmony which once existed between man and the universe”……Anatole France.

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Sunday, June 24, 2012
Day 2

(It is hard to get online here for a number reasons. So please bare with me. I will write as often as I can.)

I have been flying for about 10 hours now and it is dawn. I am watching the sunrise over the east coast of Africa and it is amazing. It is the same sunrise as in any part of world, but since I have never seen anything in Africa this is especially amazing. I am flying over Somalia and Khartoum. The view screen on the back of our seats shows us flying over places that I have seen on maps all my life but never imagined that I would ever come near too.

As we flew into into Addis Abeba, it was grey and dreary. It is winter here and grey seems the main color. The airport seems in a total state of chaos, but it makes sense to them. Must be 20 or more duty-free shops selling everything that you can imagine. Pray rooms in all corners of the airport for men and women to pray separately. No clear idea of what gate that a flight is landing or taking off from, yet everyone but me seems to know exactly where to go. Someone in LA taught me a phrase in Ethiopian that means “good health to you”. A common greeting I was told. So I have tried it on about 10 people in the last day or so. I usually get a strange stare. It is due to my amazing and very special pronunciation I am sure.

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The plane that I am taking to Harare is the size of a sardine can. We have not even taken off the man behind me is already snoozing loudly and every third person on this flight is Chinese. Talking with people on the other plane they confirm that while we were fighting two wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the Chinese have bought all the minerals in Africa. They own Africa just like the Europeans owned it in the last century. This is the new form of colonialism, so has anything really changed? It just seems a new master is all.

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Finally I am in Harare dog-tired, yet I still have customs. The people are very nice but the process is clumsy at best. I stood in three lines over an hour while one man in one booth processed about 60 people. I arrived with a temporary work permit, my passport, my contract with the Festival and proof of my ticket out of the country – all required to enter the country. They never asked of any of it. They only wanted my 45 dollar fee for my visa. Oh well.

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I finally got through and met Gavin Peter, the festival director. We have spoken for months by email and Facebook – but to finally meet him in person was great. A big, friendly, gregarious man who drove me through Harare to the home of my hosts for the next week, Keith and Jeannette ——. Keith is the chairman of the board of the NIAA who sponsors the festival.

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A quick shower and a brief nap. I was so knackered, but I got up so that I could try to get on the Zim schedule. It was still about 4 PM, so they showed me around their property. The homes in the suburbs seem to consist of large to moderate homes on large tracts of land (2 to 3 acres) surrounded by high walls and fences. Their garden is amazing with so many beautiful plants and flowers that blazed with color even in winter. Then a very pleasant evening in their lovely home with a fire (it is winter here), dinner and a bottle of wine. What a very lovely introduction to this interesting country and what promises to be a very life-changing adventure.

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